Most people think of the Kama Sutra as a guide of sexual positions, and although there is a portion that goes into great detail about sex positions, that’s not all of the information it provides. The Kama Sutra also explains how to seduce someone and what a successful marriage looks like. Some of it is sound advice, but other parts of it are pretty wacky. We decided to gather 10 weird rules of seduction from the Kama Sutra.

Like most ancient texts there are different set rules for each gender. So let’s start off with the weird seduction rules for men, according to the Kama Sutra:

1. He should pull on his mustache. The hipsters should be all over this piece of advice!

2. Make a sound with his nails. For some reason we would imagine the annoying noise would drive the ladies away.

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3. Wear ornaments that “tinkle”. Because like cats, women are just fascinated by bells…

4. “Make marks” in the Earth using a stick to refer to his crush. Nothing says love like playing in dirt.

5. If his crush has a child in her lap then he should play with the child. Not totally bad advice, but it’s still questionable to play with a kid just to get into a woman’s pants.

6. Kiss a child in front of his crush. Yes, some ladies will swoon over this but it’s a weird thing to include in a seduction guide.

7. Give the woman a fragrant gift. So guys, stock up on those Yankee candles.

8. Stroke the woman’s hair while she is distracted. Sure do that…if you want to come off as creepy.

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